I don't have any answers. Well may be a couple.

I don't have the answer.

that's a phrase i keep wanting to say, shout, scream, whisper or cry.

I keep getting asked questions i don't know how to answer. Sometimes because i can't find out, sometimes because there isn't an answer, and other times becauses i didn't even think to ask that question myself...

EVery time i have to say "i don't know" i feel like i have let people down. I still think that i should know the answers. There are some questions i really should know the answers for, but others I should learn how to feel free to say, I don't know.

One of the hardest things about it is the constant feeling of having to think. Having to think fast, "what questions might i need to answer?" "what is happening next?" "can we do that?" "if the van doesn't work on friday what will we do?" "how do i buy food if all my cards are rejected?" "are there any other ways to say no?" "How can i help the team bond and work together?" "is it unfair to leave that responsability with them?" "what am i doing here? I have no real gifts except to be here"

stuff like that.

I need some time each day to spend with Jesus. Because that is the answer.

which sounds so simple, and so annoying. but it is true. and its a fact i was reminded of today.
I got a great text this evening saying when we lift our eyes to Jesus then we really do have peace.

and its true everytime i take some time out and just spend it with Jesus I am filled with peace, and strength - (in repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength)
what i need to learn is how to spend quaility resting time with Jesus in the middle of a crisis.

i also know the answer to 2+2.

or at least i think i do.