time to be changed

I have had so much stuff over the last few weeks to blog about which i haven't had time to. I have found this pretty gutting.

Last friday we (Kurios) performed at a gig at the end of a three day mission in Worcester.

It was awsome.

As I was sitting listening to Naomi (One of YFC's new evangelists) I had this sudden realisation of just how much Jesus is going to change me this year. For the better.

There is so much stuff that needs to be changed in me. So much stuff that i have been praying about for ages,
and so much stuff that I don't know about yet.

Jesus has given me this job... and I can't do it. But I will. Because he's asked me to do it, He will provided me the strength.

Some one text me to read psalm 18.

I love you, Oh Lord, my strength.

I'm beginning to really learn some of this. I've had to learn this before through some really hard experiences, but this feels different.

Through out my life it seems I've been stripped of different things I've relied on.

this time I feel stripped of having close friends close to me. and I feel stripped of knowing whats going on, knowing what to do next, knowing the right way of doing something, and having some one else responsible for whats going on.

I don't have any of that at the moment.

I have to totally totally rely on Jesus at the moment.

I have also been stripped of my space.
of space to read books, or go on the internet. or phone people or even text people.

I'm responsable for a band, for the music, for their sanity, for the walk with Jesus (some of) and for how good we are in schools.

Its been a time of having to step up.

and it will continue to be a time of daily stepping up.

in to a role that feels too big.

and I praise Jesus that he fills up all the space, that he's being my strength.

i'm rambling. I'm sleepy.

The simple things i was going to say is,
that Jesus is going to change me a lot this year.
and thats exciting and scary.
it is good.

time.

It is interesting blogging when you don't have any spare time, and you don't have an internet connection.

Time - i do have some spare time, half and hour here and a bit there, but that time i just have to spend talking to Jesus - just me and Jesus.
Its amazing that even though we're on training, so we have lectures every day about Jesus and we have worship times etc, it seems to eat in to my precious time of just me and Jesus. the times that really refresh me, and give me peace, and hope.
SO all my spare time is just spent catching up with Jesus and telling him about whats going on, and asking for help. My job is very hard work. very hard work. And i am not feeling on top of all i have to do - i know i'll never be totally on top of it, but at the moment i'm not sure what things i need to be on top of.

time with Jesus is precious.

and so is time with friends.
I'm having half a day off today and i had yesterday off and its been so beautiful to see my friends. they refresh me so much and encourage me - and its nice to see some people outside of YFC :-) ! when i get to scotland i shall make time for me and Jesus and some time for me and other random people i don't know.

As an aside... i'm just leaving for scotland... and just met a new friend. letters time.

in fact. i love letters, and will reply if you want to send me some!

the thing about friends, Jesus, letters, work etc... is that they all use a lot of time. and time is the one thing you cannot make any more of. You get a certain amount each day, and never any more. you can't save it up, so its so precious.
and if you want stuff to work. you have to give it time.
imagine if we tithed time to Jesus...
so each day we'd give totally with out distraction, with out forward planning 2.4 hours a day to Jesus.

thats a thought.